Twenty Twenty

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Excuse me. It has been how long since I have written a blog post? Three years? 

That doesn't sound like me. But time stamps don't lie. If I'm really being honest with myself, it makes sense. The last three years have been an absolute storm. 

My last post was about the word, transient. It's funny to me how much that word still applies to my life. If you told me when I quit my job three years ago that I would still feel just as lost and worried, I would've laughed in your face. No way, get real, things are supposed to have fallen into place by now? Nope. 

My plan changed - I added a year to my timeframe and have tweaked my strategy (time and time again) here and there. My stress is an accessory like a new pair of jeans, and I still have no idea what my life will look like in the next year. *cue crying and stress-eating an entire bag of popcorn* 

It is true - I am nearing the end of my prerequisite courses (Say it louder for the people in the back!!!) and am scheduled* to take the MCAT in one month. Applications are looming on the horizon.

*COVID-19 may interfere**...don't even get me started on THAT stress. Imagine training for a marathon to hear that your race was cancelled. Yeah. 

**It most certainly did get cancelled. 3 times.

On paper, things are starting to fall into place and yet here I am, still an array of uncertainty. I'm realizing that is part of life and especially the one that I have chosen to live. It is quite clear that I am unable to maintain satisfaction with a routine (catch me moving to a new state every few years), but that isn't to say that I don't crave it. I crave a little bit of certainty, and an acceptance into medical school would be a great start. 2020 will be a long year, LFG. 

While living in Seattle I have grown so much. I am more sufficient, I know how to study in a way that works for me right now, I am confident that I will be an amazing physician. The process has me questioning ALL of that, but all in all I am solid. I have taken some spectacular trips, spending time in Whistler BC (love living so close) and JAPAN. Yes, an entire month galavanting around as a (somehow) facilitator of an empowerment program for high school students. It is laughable to me how I push myself so far out of my comfort zone, just for the absolute heck of it. I kind of love this about me. I promise to do a post on both the Whistler trips and Japan, and also general life in Seattle, because I want to document how awesome my life has been. 

I am thankful. I am afraid. I am hopeful. I am persistent. 

M. Kaitlin